Thursday, September 6, 2007

the silver booger

I've told this story so many times I have the condensed version almost down to a science:

On Sunday, during the frying of Los Angeles, Boy vanished for hours on end. He'd taken my car out for a drive, and in the early evening he made a very bizarre phone call. It was short and to the point and he asked me to scan and email my car registration (which for insurance purposes was on the kitchen table, and not in the car where it belonged). I figured he'd been pulled over for speeding (both of his feet are lead), and was in a bit of jam.

Long story short: I was lead to believe for hours on end that he was in jail, and since monday was a holiday, he might not get released until tuesday morning. The main perpetrator of this ruse? The sales rep at Thousand Oaks Audi, who was very convincing on the phone. I fell for it hook, line, and sinker, and when Boy returned home, Nemo the Volvo was gone and this was in the driveway:
surprise! my...

A 2007 qwartz gray Audi A4 2.0. Nemo, my '04 Volvo S60R (with his poor turning radius and jarring suspension) was gone and The Silver Booger was in his place. (I call it the Silver Booger because he picked a good one, and he's a boogerhead for making me worry that he was in jail.)

FAQ: Why was it so easy for you to believe Boy was in jail?
Well, aside from his lead feet and lack of registration in the car, Boy yells at cops for not using their turn signals, so just imagine what could happen if he got pulled over.

How could he trade in your car without your signature?
The amazing loan we got for Nemo was through SAG. Boy is in the guild, I am not, thus the car was in Boy's name. Trade in one car, pay off loan, get a Silver Booger.

This is how we roll in our house: since we're so hard to shop for, we give unintentionally crappy Christmas and Birthday presents to each other, we don't really celebrate anniversaries (we just had out 2nd, by the way) or Valentine's Day, and then at random spots in the year new cars and Playstation 3's magically appear. It works.


Tim said...

Holy shit.

I would do anything to drive ANY Audi A4 ever made. It's pretty much my dream car.

Have fun with it!

kyle-cummings said...

My mom had an A4 when i was in high school, and this one, turbo aside, is far superior to it.

We're pretty much an audi house now, with the A4 and Allroad sitting pretty side by side. In fact, tomorrow we leave to take them racing in buttonwillow.

Matt said...

Oh my God. You ARE going to keep him around forever and a day, no?

John Paul said...

Can I have a ride in this one, too!? Pretty please?!

Jameson said...

You make me want to vomit.

Victoria said...

I want a boy like your Boy!

Yay!!!! Happy!

PortugePunk said...

this is me being insanely jealous.
much better than my WeHo mobile. :P